1. You should have more relationships with people!
1. Because life is about having relationships. Wife, kids, friends. All of those provide you with more happiness!
2. Are you sure? If I start a relationship with somebody, I have created a potential for pain to manifest. The more I love a person, the more it hurts when they are gone.
1. So your solution for eradicating pain is to eradicate relationships and live in isolation? Is that your definition of success? Being all alone.
2. I have the whole world with me. Singing birds, living nature, the smell of a dandelion, the taste of a strawberry and warm gravel beneath my bare feet in the summer. Happiness is not measured by the number of relationships.
Also, I didn’t say I am going to isolate myself. I will live around people, but I don’t have any emotional attachment to them, because if I do, I have given control to something I can’t control. I am ok with the things I can’t control, but I can control emotional attachment in relationships. Therefore, why would I give emotion to something that can make me vulnerable?
1. Because life is about being brave and vulnerable. It’s about love, and love is about sharing. Of course, it can be hard to trust something you can’t control, but without chaos there can’t be any excitement in life. Excitement is born when chaos turns to order. When your vision of order is manifested.
When you solve a math quiz= your vision of order is manifested.
When you kiss your crush for the first time= your vision of order is manifested.
Chaos is the way to feel something. If you could understand and predict everything there would be nothing to feel. Feelings are really what life is all about. On your deathbed you will remember only the things which are charged with emotional energy. In order to see the highest highs you must first see to lowest lows. This creates the polarity and wider perspective on life. Without perspective there is no point of view and without point of view there can’t be emotions.
2. Sure, I don’t run away from chaos in my life. In fact, I live in constant chaos and accept it as it is. I have realised that I don’t know anything, absolutely nothing. I don’t know what is good or bad, I don’t know what this place we call earth and people really are, I don’t know the true nature of reality. I know that there is a reality and I live in it, but that’s it. I am just an ignorant child who has an experience.
When somebody says to me: you should have more relationships with people, I would like to say to them. It’s not for me to decide. How? Because that’s for God to decide. I can want to have anything and everything, but what I will have is for God to decide and for me to accept. He already gave me everything I have without me ever asking, and if he want to take it away, he has every right to do that. I accept what is given and don’t force my egoistic will to pursuit some imaginary Idea of ideal life in the future. God knows better than me and if there are no relationships coming my way, it means I don’t need them at the moment. There might be a time for them, but I let life show me the way.
1. But isn’t that boring? Don’t you have any desires? Dreams and ambitions? Are you just sitting at your home waiting for something to happen? I can assure you, nothing will happen if you don’t have a vision for the future and put your energy into it.
You say you are living in chaos, but you are unwilling to get attached to anyone emotionally. What if your God puts you in a situation where you meet somebody, how can you build any relationship without attachment?
2. If I get attached to a person’s individuality, it creates a potential to lose that person, which will cause pain. But is there something that I will never lose?
I will never lose that which is. You can call it God or I am. I will never lose the truth.
So, I can lose their individuality, but I can’t lose God. Therefore, I don’t love their individuality, I love God in them, I love his creation. I get attached to that which is, which contain all of creation.
If they go away has God gone away? No.
If they leave their individuality, they will never leave God, because they came from God.
1. That start to sound like you accept everything. There is no rules for you. If somebody is killed or raped that’s ok, because it’s your Gods creation? I will not respect God who allows all these awful things to happen.
2. When God started creation, he gave us free will to choose, because without it, paradise wouldn’t be paradise. There are no restrictions in paradise. Therefore, it was our choice to create this thing called ‘’my choice’’ and ‘’This is mine’’. Once we proclaimed that something is ours, it created the first restriction. There no longer was a paradise where everything was shared, but an individual who got an idea to keep something only for himself.
And once God saw this, he had two options. Destroy his own creation or banish them from paradise.
Because he loved his own creation so much, he decided to banish them from paradise and gave them an option to redeem themselves my realising their mistakes and repenting.
So, it’s not Gods fault that awful things happen, it’s our fault. If God decided to eradicate evil right now, he would eradicate us.
Don’t take anything I say literary, this is just a story, a fairytale with a message.
1. That’s a neat Christian story, but is it true? Newborn babies die all the time without ever having the change to even make any mistakes and repent. How can God justify death of a baby?
2. If we stick to a Christian narrative, it has this to say:
”When Job first heard of the death of his children: At this, Job got up and tore his robe and shaved his head. Then he fell to the ground in worship and said:
‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb,
and naked I will depart.
The Lord gave and the Lord has taken away;
may the name of the Lord be praised.’
In all this, Job did not sin by charging God with wrongdoing.”
The world we live in goes beyond rationality. God is the author of life, not us. He gives and he takes away. He’s perfect justice goes beyond man’s ability to understand. We can try to understand and once we don’t, we decide to curse God, but will that help your pain in anyway?
We can only listen, ask forgiveness for our ignorance and trust. Or just simply trust if you already accept that your egoistic mind doesn’t know anything. That is all we can do.
1. No I can’t buy that. if I just trusted and let everything happen as it happens, I would give my power away. I would lose myself, I would lose my opinions, it would be a philosophical suicide. Who would I be without my opinions? I can’t just look at a war battleground and say ‘’Well, I guess God knows best’’. I can’t just watch from the sidelines if I know I can make a difference.
2. When two countries fight against each other, is one of them evil and the other one good?
1. depends upon the reason of the invasion. If the other country would kidnap my family to slavery, should I just accept it and let them go? No! What they did was evil. Every fibre of my being would tell me to go there and bring them back home.
2. What if your country had killed people from the other country and they are revenging by kidnapping people?
1. The correct way to act in that kind of situation is not to kidnap, but to negotiate.
2. What if money or any material wealth cannot alleviate their pain of loss and they only accept people as payment? Then somebody has to lose their loved ones.
1. That is not appropriate price to pay.
2. Well your country did the most evil crime. Murder. Nothing can bring them back.
1. Well our country should give the murderers to them and not someone innocent.
2. What if the murderers are unknown?
1. I don’t know. There must be away to settle something like this with communication.
2. So in this situation, somebody has to finally swallow the bullet and forgive, because if they don’t, it will be revenge after revenge after revenge. Until one day somebody does what Jesus said:
“You have heard that it was said, Eye for eye, and tooth for tooth.But I tell you, do not resist an evil person. If anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to them the other cheek also. And if anyone wants to sue you and take your shirt, hand over your coat as well.’’
1. That sound like the slave morality Nietzsche was talking about. People will take any punishment, because somebody has brainwashed them to think that accepting punishment is the way to serve God.
2. What else can you do? The only way to alleviate pain that nothing in this world can compensate is forgiveness. He who forgives, has taken the first step towards freedom.
1. So are you suggesting that I would just leave my family and accept that they were kidnapped?
2. I am not suggesting anything, but I will end this conversation with a quote from Rumi: “Goodbyes are only for those who love with their eyes. Because for those who love with heart and soul there is no such thing as separation.”