Where to go next? Is there anything to write? Of course, there is always something to write as we can see. Here is a word and here is another. Opinions inside my head fighting for the leadership. There are always two kinds of war going on. The inside and the outside war. Outside war is easy to see, just look at the news. Inside war is the ultimate battlefield within, where the military commander is pain.
What is pain?
You could say there are physical and psychological pain, but really there is only psychological pain. Physical pain is a feeling like any other. Without feeling, physical pain wouldn’t register as pain, it would be neutral experience.
But why do we feel pain?
It guides us. Without pain the sense of direction would disappear. One might say ‘’I want to become a doctor! Because other jobs are not as appealing.’’ So, there is a hierarchy. And the designer of that hierarchy is pain. The thing that causes least pain goes to the top. We are always going towards the least painful option.
First it might be listening to your parents, then school, friends, boyfriend, work, kids, hobbies, drugs, therapy, religion. It’s always changing. When something becomes familiar, we start to feel stuck, which forces us to continue forward when we can’t take it anymore. This might take days or decades depending on the level of pain.
But where is pain guiding you?
Towards wholeness and creation. The source of pain is the suppression of expression. First, you have the perspective of your parents. Sooner or later there comes a yearning for more. So, you find friends, maybe try drugs and do all kinds of things listed above. But every time, there is a yearning for more. And every time when you find something new, your perspective widens. You start to see that instant pleasure seeking gives you more pain and longer patience for the award gives you more pleasure. You start to see that happiness is the by-product of pushing though pain. Victory doesn’t feel like victory if you didn’t work for it.
But once you have tried enough of thing in this outside world, you start to see that it can’t widen your perspective beyond sensory stimulus. And you know for a fact that sensory stimulus is not the whole story. Once the pain of ignorance is too great to ignore this, it forces you to go beyond. And the only way to go beyond, is to figure out the truth by yourself. By destroying everything and seeing what’s left. You start to see that the pain is just here to guide you towards the truth. Your patience for pain starts to increase, because you see it more as a guide then something to avoid. There is no more reason to avoid it by drinking alcohol, watching tv, playing games, scrolling memes and so on.
Pain is the key to change, it shows you where not to go. Without it there wouldn’t be anything to create. Pain is nothing evil, it’s the path of creation.